Dressed in his old tight black, leather trousers, tatty doc martens, white
shirt and a leather jacket that could have come from the middle ages, he looked
like a typical 80s pop star, straight off some pretentious video shoot.
Complete with the moody looks and killer glares at any passing stranger.
He stood before the meeting
place an old Tudor building in Canterbury city centre, at 10:05 at night and
lost it. The world of Zombies had surpassed themselves, they were a bunch of heathens,
how could they have mutilated a building with such History? his history!
January 1593.
“Adam you are drawing attention to yourself” Eve hissed at him.
“But Eve, Eve it’s him, he’s here”
Adam not normally known for school boy outbursts, was sitting in the
Cherry tree Inn in Canterbury Kent, where they had taken rooms for the night
and next day. He was looking straight at a new hero of his. The hero who was
unaware he was being admired from afar, seemed to arguing with a friend besides
him, as they sat in their nook with a large flagon of ale.
The hero was one Christopher Marlowe, playwright extraordinaire, well Adam
thought so.
He and Eve had seen his “The Jew of Malta” A dark play of revenge
against the authorities, only a few nights back in London. Adam had been
instantly taken by it.
Marlowe himself had come on stage
at the end and taken a bow, giving Adam a chance to see him but he’d been
unable to find Marlowe later to meet this latest man crush. Now Adam was here
in Marlowe’s hometown and there was the man before him.
Adam left his seat and walked over, sort of hovering close by, until the
Gentleman besides Marlowe asked Adam to remove himself or ask his questions.
The man seemed to believe that Adam was interested in him. The man was a
dick!
Now or never.
“Good day to you Sir, I had the chance to see your play the other night in
London and may I say it was a thing of beauty” Adam said, making sure that
Marlowe not the oaf knew who the remarks were addressed to.
Christopher Marlowe lit up, and insisted Adam and his beautiful lady come join
them.
Christopher Marlowe, Kit to his now new found friend, was only too willing to
have someone else to talk to. Most likely because it shut up the arrogant and
quite frankly boring arse he was with. A gentleman by the name of William
Shakespeare, who professed loudly to one and all that he was also a playwright,
and soon to be one of much renown.
In a pig’s eye Adam thought. The man had no real-world experience and he hadn’t
been further than here from Stratford upon Avon. Kit on the other hand, was at
this moment telling tales of his travels around the world, the colourful people
he had met and the adventures he had, had. All the exotic places that Adam
himself had long dreamt of and would soon be traveling to with Eve.
Mr Shakespeare getting no response from Adam with his base attempts to seduce him, was now
flirting with Eve, not that Adam had any worries on that account, let’s face it
the man hardly looked good enough to eat, and Eve was more than a match
for his witty repartee.
As the evening wore on, they had moved with others into a larger room in
another part of the Inn, named the great hall. It was hardly that but it was
away from the main bar and in front of a large roaring fire.
There the night had been spent with tall tales being told, and songs being sung
by anyone who cared to take the floor, even Adam stood and gave a sad but
beautiful tale to the music of his Lute.
The hardest part was shutting goby Shakespeare up, who seemed
unstoppable in his attempts to bore the crowd to sleep. Kit looked upon his
uncouth friend and smiled, as all the while busty barmaids with flushed faces,
filled cups from yet more flagons of ale.
Just before the sky started to get light, Eve pulled Adam away to head for
their bed chamber for the day. Kit decided to leave with them but before he
departed to his own chamber he handed Will a large leather bag filled with
papers.
“Remember what I told you Will, should I not return make sure these get to THAT
Gentleman” he whispered to the prat, then winked at Adam.
“Truly I will and with much hast” William Shakespeare assure him, clutching the
bag to him like it had the crown jewels themselves inside.
On the way to their bed chambers Kit showed Adam and Eve the Inns priest hole.
It was not just a hiding place but a route through the roofs of the next five
building to the city gates themselves.
“There’s a Tunnel underground from the church to the Inn and then it’s this
route to freedom” and he laughed.
He went on to say how the likes of Willy S. Could have their fame and all that
came with it. Those papers he’d handed him would never see their supposed home.
“But the work would get out there Adam, the work will get out” and with that he left them. On waking the
following evening Adam was disappointed to find his hero had left.
Adam and Eve heard a few months later he’d been killed in Dartford and Eve wept
for him. Adam scuttled to his room and stayed there while he wrote many sad
songs and lamentations for his hero. It took Eve finding him a fresh young maid
with a song in her heart and a sweet neck to take him out of his doldrums.
And Their other loud mouth, pompous, drinking companion, of that night? Well he
didn’t seem so sad, or down at the loss of his play writing pal.
He instead fulfilled his own prophecy, by becoming a famous playwright himself
with wondrous stories of far away places he’d never been to and people he would
never meet or imagine. Kit was right the work would get out.
Three years later Adam and Eve bumped into their supposedly dead friend as he
was trying to dispose of the remains of an obviously once ravishing meal, by
tipping her into the Thames. With a helping hand they finished the job for him.
The memories the three of them had continued to make after that night
came flooding back to Adam.
And now he was in 1986 standing in front of the Cherry tree Inn again waiting
for Eve who had said to meet him in front of this once beautiful place.
Adam was appalled at what the place had been split up into. In the era of bad
music, terrible writing and fashion you really could die for, I mean for god’s
sake whose idea were leg warmers and bubble perms.
When all bands had forsaken real instruments for the synthesized sounds of a
cat being strangled. They add insult to injury by doing this. Who the hell had
done to his beautiful building.
It stood before him now as “The Cricketers pub” a rented property and… and
this is the pure evil of it, a bloody Kentucky fried chicken, the smell of
which alone could kill. They called this food!?
Eve at this point mercifully came around the corner and dragged him away, just as
he was beginning to rant at a passing drunken tourist who was about to enjoy
his KFC bucket.
How unjust this was to wreck a hugely important part of history, did the town
council not know what happened here, who had been here?
“Adam my Darling stop and come see what I have found”
Her calming effect always brought him to a standstill, she took his hand and
lead him to the back of the building and a now very old wooden door. The large
wooden staircase that lead up to the once meeting hall of so many years ago had
not been changed and like before loud music could be heard coming from the room
and much rowdy behaviour.
Inside the couple who rented the property, were throwing a party with awful
music playing, chosen by the mullet haired, loud mouthed boyfriend who would
have given William Shakespeare a run for his money. He was very drunk and
trying to impress all the ladies with his moves, and his very tight red jeans
on a frankly fat arse.
His girlfriend with her 80s long naturally curly hair and bubbly personality,
tried to ignore her man’s bad behaviour and was talking to an old guy in the
corner. Kit!
“Hello Adam, Eve, something’s never change, do they?” Kit said and pointed at
the mullet haired mouth.
He then turned back to the young girl and carried on with his storytelling.,
she sat enthralled by his tales of the history of the ancient house.
Adam and Eve gladly joined the odd-looking couple of young and old
They forgot the rowdy crowd and their terrible taste in music, as Kit wove
tales of Tudor days, busty barmaids, eager young men, fights and famous
playwrights from so long ago. With so much detail and colour the girl thought
he could have been there. The mysterious pair that had joined them added even
more colours to the strange old man’s stories.
She soon became very taken with the man, a dark brooding soul that had so much
pain behind his eyes and his stunning lady, all brightness and interest in the
world around her
By the early hours the pair asked her to take a walk, by the Stour river and
when Adam took her hand and lead her a little further she went willingly,
leaving behind her loud mouth mullet haired boyfriend and any cares she had.
Modern Life is Rubbish 