anti-anti-survivor:

pumpkinvictor:

pumpkinvictor:

pumpkinvictor:

pumpkinvictor:

if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild

brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.

me: no??? that’s mean???

brain: polar bear, then

me: no

brain: the lions just got fed raw meat

me: yes?

brain: steal it and eat it in front of them

me: …

rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received

I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain.