David: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitation! It’s supposed to say “Gwen’s Birthday!”
Max: What does it say instead?
David: “Gwen’s Bi”.
Max: Hey, that could still work.

dappermouth:

my cat is licking himself loudly and wetly, somewhere in this pitch-black room, and it sounds like there’s an old man eating a bowl of chili in the dark with me

sidras-tak:

here are some things I just heard:

• a door slamming
• someone exclaim “oh, you sneaky bastard”
• the sound of a bell jingling down the hallway
• someone at the end of the hallway gasping “hello beautiful!!” in that very special I’m-talking-to-an-unexpected-cat voice

argumate:

Bauhaus
In the middle of Baustreet